Grandmother Knight Consulting: Wisdom for Life's Transitions
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December 21, 2014 -- Happy Solstice
" When I was growing up, my parents always made it clear that working at something fun and creative or that you love meant you were going to starve... Even so, my quest was to find my truth and inspiration." Tama Kieves, Money Stories
Sunday is Solstice, the shortest day/longest night of the year. It signals the light getting ready to return. And that symbol is really important to me.
About 22 or 23 years ago I stopped celebrating Christmas because the focus on buying didn't make sense any more. At first it was difficult to talk my daughters into making the change with me. When I brought it up that first year they didn't like it, but soon they agreed to just try it for that one year. But they liked it, maybe not as much as me, but we have continued celebrating on or around Solstice all these years. Sometimes we still do something on Christmas but many years we do our own thing that day. I like going to see a movie or contemplating what I want to manifest for next year. One of my daughters used to like having a pan of Costco lasagna and both daughters have other friends they enjoy spend time with on Christmas.
Our tradition is that we get together and have dinner or lunch or brunch--this year is brunch at Jenna's. We still have gifts giving and lots of catching up and we have fun in our alternative holiday celebration.
I want to thank both of my daughters for agreeing, all those years ago, to celebrate with me in a new and different way and on a different day.
Solstice evening I'll be hosting a Dark Moon/New Moon drumming circle in Tigard and will lay out a labyrinth to walk. Email me if you need directions and would like to come. (As always I'll have a few extra drums and rattles if you don't have your own.)
If I don't see you Sunday or during the holidays, I hope you'll have a wonderful time, doing whatever is your own personal tradition.
Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year
My wish for each of us is that we are can stay open to peace and calm for this holiday and the rest of the year and be open to a transformative new year as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
November 21, 2014 -- Gratefulness
" It's not about the money per se; it's more about your attitude about money, what you do with it, and what value it has." James Wanless, Money Stories
This is the time of year for me brings thoughts of gratefulness. We are coming up to three holidays that whose focus can be commercialism or looking at what we have, how we are taken care of, who are our angels, who do we want to send love to.
This year I'm looking at gratitude at a deeper level and some new friends are helping me. Three of the new friends are part of my Money Support Group and several others are people I've done readings for.
1. One of these new friends tithed to me. I was literally blown away. The first time I was in a tight place financially, and was wrestling to stay away from fear. Then a card with a check inside arrived. I was so grateful to this angel. She has helped me understand gratitude as well as the Law of Attraction a bit better.
2. My Money Support Group members have also been there for me in interesting ways. At our last meeting we played the Transformation Game and I received some amazing wisdom. After being stuck on the physical level for much of the game one player said "I wonder if that means that you are supposed to look at something on that level." It was exactly what I needed to hear and I realized that I'm always wanting to bypass the physical, emotional, and mental levels and go straight to the spiritual level!
I've been working on an online basic astrology class and was totally stuck. That comment helped me begin to get back on track.
3. I'm also grateful that I get to spend time with my daughters and their partners on Thanksgiving. We are all busy and have jobs that don't allow us to spend much time together, but we will have time together on Thanksgiving and Solstice.
4. And I've finally been able to begin a gratitude journal. I find that even if life feels difficult there's at least one things that comes to mind to write down. For years I've wanted to start a gratitude journal and for whatever reasons I just couldn't or didn't do it. In August I decided to take it off my "to do list." Right after removing it off my list I found the perfect small journal and that night I began adding one thing each night at bed time. I realized what kept me from starting the journal before was the thought that I needed to write down bunches of things each day. Committing coming up with one thing each day is something I can do. I'm proud to have almost 4 months of entries in that journal!
What are you grateful for today or this month or this year? Do you already keep a gratitude journal? If not could you? Or could you just say one thing out loud at the end of each day?
5. Actually keeping the journal has made me feel more grateful for my life and the things and people in it. Thank you to all who are there each day, each moment to send me Reiki or a positive thought or to just be my friend. I am grateful for each of you.
My wish for each of us is that we are able to recognize the abundance in our lives as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
October 21, 2014 -- Lunar Progressions
In last month's email I talked about the time when Mercury was retrograde, and between the two eclipses as being a good time to do ceremony and ask for help resolving problems. I asked for something new to appear in my life.
So. the week before last I went to an astrology talk about Progressed Moon Cycles. The astrologer talked about these 27-28 year cycles of the moon and how it might lay out for a person. He talked about all of the lunar phases during each lunar cycle. Using this information he shared an example of a man who discovers his true sexuality, a partner and several career moves that happened right on time with the lunar progressions phases.
Over my years of being an astrologer I have used a small bit of progressed information when doing a reading, but it was limited.
After the talk I came home and spent the next four days looking at my progressions and those of friends, relatives and clients. I was totally amazed with what I found.
For me the progressions marked several of what I thought were random transitions. One was beginning to work at New Renaissance Bookshop. I thought going to work there was just chance and that when I left I might have made a mistake since it was not planned. But after looking at my chart, I realized that I might not have planned the changes, but that "someone" had.
When I began my job at the book store it was under a progressed full moon, a time of course correction from my New Moon intent at 1979-80. That intent, I think, was to make a reasonable living for me and my daughters. By the time I got to the full moon my course correction was into a more spiritual jpb.
I left New Renaissance 15 years later under a progressed New Moon, a time to set a new life intent. I couldn't believe it. I'd been thinking maybe I'd made a mistake, but seeing this progression let me know that the choice was perfect and exactly as it should be.
I also found that things like the births of my siblings, my marriage and divorce, the birth of my kids all showed up in the progression timeline. I'm still blown away!
The readings I've done since adding this new information have been pretty powerful and informative.
Again I looked at what I had suggested last month, to help us deal with struggles. After doing my own work during this time I began working earnestly on a beginning astrology class that is taking form. It will be an on-line class and will be between 6 and 8 lessons for the first portion.
Second, I received and have begun using this new lunar progression information. It's amazing how much it shows what's going on in a person's life. Of course it shows the past, but can also help us look at what to focus on for the future.
When I first heard about the astrology talk I almost didn't go, but I'm so glad the "Grandmothers" helped change my mind! (And to look at your own progression cycle, email me to set up a session. Use the coupon below for a gift for yourself!)
My wish for each of us is that we are able to listen well and hear what spirit has to tell us as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown. Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
September 22, 2014 -- What Wants To Be Accomplished?
"...struggles can seem horrible and can keep me from living my life fully and well, or they can teach me about life and the choices I've made and lead me to perhaps make different choices in the future. " Connie Hill, Money Stories
Right after Labor Day the pace picks up and I want to get things done, crack the whip, force things to happen. But what I want to do doesn't always want to get done.
Is there something you are struggling to accomplish before 2014 ends? Or should I say is there something that you want to accomplish but are getting block from doing?
I used to think if a project didn't want to get done I was procrastinating, but as I've gotten older it's apparent that this so-called procrastination is actually help from the universe: either something about the project isn't right or the timing is off.
In a webcast last week the presenter suggested a neat process for dealing with struggles and blocks. She suggested writing the issue down, getting quiet, focusing on the issue, meditating about it, and then listening to what comes to mind. It's easy to push things through thinking we know best and never listening to what spirit or our inner guidance is trying to tell us.
If you are feeling blocked a couple of October astrological aspects might help you gain clarity. The first on Saturday, October 4, is Mercury going retrograde in Scorpio. I know that astrologers usually tell clients to "do nothing" or if you have to do, "do carefully" during Mercury retrograde, but I also think we really need to learn to work WITH this aspect. This Scorpio retrograde might help you dive deeper than usual, to ask deeper questions and listen deeper. Also, if you have a project you've been slowly working on and/or researching, Mercury retrograde might help bring it to conclusion. So use this three weeks by not trying to push through struggles, but to go inside and see what is coming close to the surface. Louise Hay's You Can Heal Your Life could provide physical body insights, as well.
The second aspect happens on October 23rd, just before Mercury goes direct. It's a Scorpio Solar Eclipse (I'll talk more about this eclipse in the next email newsletter). Take advantage of the eclipse, which can help birth something new. You might feel the sun and moon moving closer up to a week in advance, so between approximately October 15 and the 23rd do some ceremony and more deep listening and ask for help with the birthing.
So, if you have an issue or a struggle write it down before or as Mercury goes retrograde, allow some time each day to sit and write and pray and/or meditate and listen for what's the first thing that comes to mind. Then between October 15 and 23 do some ceremony to anchor and ground your new undertaking into reality.
My wish for each of us is that we are able to listen well and hear what spirit has to tell us as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
August 19, 2014 -- Just Sit On It
" My biggest priority was to establish my spirituality. Then everything else fell into place... when I finally allowed God to run things, everything else... began to work well." Carol Redmond, Money Stories
Sometimes my email topic comes in a flash and it pours out of me amazingly quickly. Other times it's like pulling teeth -- I struggle with it for hours or days. This email has been slow to come, not finding a topic, finding a topic but then the right words won't come. Finally, this morning I went back to look at topics I have written about since the beginning of 2014.
Here's what I found: January was about beginning my yearly pilgrimage and opening up to the journey each year has for me. February, I went on a Money Diet to see if I could stop using credit cards and pay only with cash and spend only on necessities, great exercise that I'll do again. March was about beliefs, fears, and resources and was a recap of what I had learned on the Money Diet--LOTS! April was looking at the 19 year cycles of eclipses and what was happening for me 19 years ago--I was moving to the beach. May was about visioning abundance, which I always try to do, and maybe try is the operative word. June and July were about looking at and changing beliefs.
What I realized was that I'm usually trying to do something, change something, make something happen, and the topic that came to me after looking back was "Just Sit On It!" meaning just look at and measure what I've accomplished and appreciate. Stop trying to do and just be, as the spiritual community used to say.
Most of my life I have thought of myself as lazy and not accomplishing anything, but that is untrue. I may sit a lot, but I also go to Curves at least 3 days a week, and many time 4 or 5. I do love chocolate, but mostly fix myself healthy and tasty meals. I watch TV, but also lead two drumming circles each month, keep prayer offerings on my altar and release the energy just before each New Moon. I drum and send thoughts and prayers to those who need healing. I've given my Self-Publishing class/talk twice and will be doing it again on Friday Aug. 22 (at New Renaissance Bookshop, 503-224-4929) and have had 30-40 students at each talk so far this year. I write articles for my writers and publishers group newsletter every quarter. And there's a batch of ketchup in my crock pot as I'm writing this email! My beliefs about not being good enough or worthy enough or doing enough to have an abundant life are slowly but surely changing.
Last night I played the Transformation Game with a friend (the game can be a long and involved and time-consuming). I was able to get through all four levels in an hour without obtaining pain and twice being able to clear the pain for my friend. My focus was on attracting abundance and what I realized while playing was how much abundance I have right now!
I've started writing down one thing I'm grateful for each night at bedtime and I'm amazed at how that has changed my way of looking at the world. The deal I made with myself was to write down only one thing each day and sometimes I find I can't stop at one. Sometimes the one thing is big and major, and sometimes very small. But I'm grateful for each item on my list!
I'm grateful and feeling calm about life at this minute and I know the best thing for me to do right now is "To Just Sit On It!" and see what happens.
I hope all of you enjoy the rest of summer, that you each do at least one fun thing every day, and that you settle in and do your own version of "Sitting on it" as summer continues. Remember, fun does not have to cost money. It can be as simple as savoring a veggie off a plant in your yard or sending a fun email to a friend or relative or sitting outside with a glass of ice tea or wine after it cools down in the evening.
Oh, one more thing that I'm grateful for and in awe of is that Monday, September 8 is the 5 year anniversary of me leading Full Moon Drumming Circles at New Renaissance. Come help me celebrate this milestone!
My wish for each of us is that we have fun, as well as abundance as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
July 24, 2014 -- Changing Beliefs - 2
"There are traditional stories about the powerful Zen Roshi who is paddling his boat across the river taking passengers back and forth. People asked him how he could do such a mundane thing. He said that each trip across the river is unique in itself, and this is a great approach for life." Stan Madson, Money Stories
I want to talk about several things this month. First, is a continuation of last months topic, changing beliefs, and what I've learned since my last newsletter.
I begin with the ongoing process of changing beliefs and found that it's an ongoing process...
Last month I talked about wanting to be able to trust more. I usually find that when I'm working to make changes, the universe provides tests to see if I really want the changes. This past month has been one of tests.
In last month's email I suggested four points to move me/us toward a new belief. The points were: 1. having a clear idea of what I want; 2. put the definition into words and put these words around my living space; 3. use EFT/tapping, visualization and other tools to welcome new beliefs; 4. use gratitude to recognize what happens each day.
So, as I said I was tested. I realized (again!) that trust doesn't mean only positive will occur from then on, but does mean a better ability to handle what the universe brings. I was stressed and impatient a lot during the month, but using the four tools helped me return to calm quickly.
To me this is what trust means “Trusting, everything falls into place, and old beliefs release.” This statement has become a written affirmation that I see often during the day. It brings peaceful feelings just seeing the card. Traffic has been challenging lately, but reading my trust statement in my car has helped that struggle.
I didn't use as much EFT as I thought I would, but visualization and drumming have done wonders.
The gratitude journal took longer to start using, but cleaning out my office I found a small notebook that is now by my bed with a pen and has several entries. Another thing I'm grateful for is that I got quite a few comments from people about that email being important to them. Several people said they were inspired. One person said she'd use the steps in her job search. Another said it reminded her about worry and trust, and that worry never helped her do anything. A couple more just said they loved the newsletter. Most months I don't hear from anyone about a newsletter so it was wonderful to get so much feedback. I am grateful to each of you who took the time to email or speak to me. Thanks again.
Second, in case you can't tell I'm changing my email delivery company to Mailchimp. I've tried to make this happen a couple of times, and the stars must be aligned because it's falling into place so easily now. Let me know what you think.
Third, I'm looking forward to the upcoming New Moon on Saturday, July 26. It is conjunct Jupiter at the beginning of playful, optimistic, and hopeful Leo. A New Moon is about beginnings and births, and Jupiter is openings, pushing the boundaries out, trying something new. Jupiter is generally "Santa Claus" positive, but can also be a tendency to over do. I'm visualizing myself manifesting positives, beginnings, hope, and abundance. I hope you too can manifest from the positive side of Jupiter and Leo.
And fourth, I hope to see some or many of you at Pioneer Square this Saturday at the NW Book Festival. Please look for me at booth 64. And come have some Ben & Jerry's ice cream—they are giving away samples all day.
So for this month I ask for abundance and happy changes for each of us as we walk into the great and wonderful unknown. Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
June 25, 2014 Changing Beliefs
"There comes a point where peace does come and I know that whatever is happening in my life is happening for my highest good. It's not visible now, but ultimately it will become clear." Quirina Kryger, Money Stories
I'm working to change some beliefs that I've carried and tried to change for years. One change is around trusting. Just realized that I've always worked on this from the position of a lack of trust, not having trust. I wanted to get rid of tight shoulders and discomfort. Then I realized that I was not even totally sure what trust meant, so I went to the dictionary. At first it seemed silly to look up this word I have worked with and struggled with and lived with unsuccessfully for most of my life. But it was surprising what I found. Trust is about having confidence in something, or hope, or being able to rely on the integrity, strength, ability, surety of a person or thing, or belief, faith, certainty, conviction that something will happen.
My view of trust comes from what I don't have or what I want to get rid. The Law of Attraction says the only way to attract something is to see and feel it already being yours; what we believe or think is what we draw in.
I always believed that if I trusted then universal forces would lead me to my next step or steps, but I didn't realize that while I was wanting to move toward one thing I was drawing in the opposite, because that was all I thought about--what I didn't have! I could only be confident if I took control and figured things out on my own. I may say that the universe will take care of me and lead me, but I only believed it a little, sort of, when things were right. In other words, I don't really believe it. I thought I believed in hope, but I'm afraid to hope that the universe will lead and take care of me.
I really want to release the old way of dealing with trust and I decided to look at how to do that, so here's my plan:
First, having a clear idea of what I want instead of what I don't want is important. If I don't have a clear picture of what I want then I really don't even know where I want to go. Knowing what trust is will help draw it in.
Second, I plan to put the definition of trust in words and pictures around my house so I can see them, often. I know one perfect place is my bathroom. Another is my fridge door, as well as on my phone and inside my car. I'll put what trust means and looks like in those places. It's already there in two of the four places!
Third, I've seen how effective EFT can be so I want to use it every day or so to encourage these changes. And visualizing what the change will look like is another way to draw in the new belief. Though my process has already begun, I think making it my Cancer New Moon project might be really powerful!
And fourth, gratitude is another important aspect in implementing this change in my beliefs. I want to recognize what is happening each day. And I'm excited about working with these four steps!
Do you have beliefs you want to change? Try my four steps:
1. Get clear on what the change will look like and focus on that, not on what you don't want. Check out the definition of what you are working on. Look it up in the dictionary. Does it match your definition? See it already changed.
2. Where can you place signs or drawings that represent the change or new beliefs you want to draw in?
3. What tool will help you? Reiki, meditation, EFT, visualization, affirmations, ceremony, others? Pick one or several and use it/them every day or two.
4. Feel and acknowledge your gratitude to the universe for each step you are able to take toward your new beliefs. You can just say to yourself what you are grateful for, but using a journal and saying your gratitudes out loud can be extremely powerful.
I'm already feeling less stressed working with these steps for a short time. How about you? If you decide to try this exercise let me know how it works for you. I think this month will be a good test!
I ask for energy for each of us to make the appropriate transitions, no matter what they might be, as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown. Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
Visioning Abundance -- May 27, 2014
"I tell people to stand in their power. Knowing what you want is so critical in having a vision." Joanne McCall, Money Stories
Drawing in abundance; what does that mean? Are you trying to change your abundance quotient or are you okay with it as it is? Before you try to draw it in you need to know what abundance will look like so you can recognize it when it comes and so you know what to ask of the universe! I decided to ask people around me what it meant to them. So first, I asked my friend Jean about abundance. She said it's when her heart is calm. After saying that we talked a few more minutes about abundance and peace and attachment and what is really important.
When I asked my friend Sheila she told me it means different things at different moments, but at that moment it meant knowing she's loved by friends and family and students. Then we talked about her garden and an upcoming trip. My neighbor and friend Diane said it used to mean over-spending to compensate for growing up poor, but now it is having family & friends available when she needs help or when she can help them.
For my friend Sharlene abundance is fruition or completion of plans, projects, thoughts, or events, all coming to an end so she is able to begin something new. That is her vision of abundance. She was with family for the holiday which is also part of her vision of abundance.
Sara said it means love and being happy. It also means friends, family, people who make her feel good to be around, and people who help her feel more spiritual.
Veronica said she hears the word tossed around but she doesn't have the slightest idea how to equate it to her life.
I always thought abundance was just having more money, but abundance can be anything we want and desire and anything we can vision in our minds.
I have been watching The Secret again. I had forgotten how much information is there and how the information changes with what I am able to take in. I had also remembered it mainly focusing on money, but that was only my perception at the time. This watching I saw that it was about calling in or manifesting what one desires. Money is one of the vehicles to allow us to purchase what we desire, but IT IS NOT THE ONLY WAY! Peace and happiness, a calm heart, love, a new sense of spirituality do not necessarily require money.
So what does abundance look like when you picture it? Can you write it down or draw it? Try this exercise and be as specific as you can. Feel it. Feel yourself in that picture. See yourself there. And see what happens.
And one more thing I almost forgot to add--after you picture your vision of abundance, draw or write it, picture it in your mind and feel yourself there, the final part is to let it go and let the universe take care of the details. Maybe that is the most important part of the process! Good luck!
And finally, my vision of abundance is the the peace that comes with having the resources I want/need to do what I want/need. At times it's the money I need to pay my bills, travel, eat healthily, keep my house and car in good working order, being able to go see a couple of movies each month, and to help others. But yesterday I felt a wonderful sense of abundance sitting and soaking in the beauty and peace in the middle of Lan Su Chinese Garden.
I thank everyone who answered my question. It was so amazing to hear what each person had to say. Each definition is so different and so valid for that particular person at that particular time. And with the exception of Veronica, each person had, for that moment, a picture in their mind of what this concept means and what it will look like when it comes to them, if it's not already there.
I ask for abundance for each of us, no matter what your picture is, as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
April 23, 2014 -- Nineteen Year Cycles
"This is what spirituality is all about. Really embracing change and learning to trust. Not just trusting my angels or trusting God or my spirit guides, but trusting myself and my capabilities. I'm capable of figuring it out." Erin Donley, Money Stories
"I like the idea that we have to make money. That is the "mother or father" of invention" James Wanless, Money Stories
Monday, April 28th is a New Moon/Solar Eclipse in Taurus, the ruler of our financial, material, resources sign. Taurus is a fixed and earth sign, so it is pretty grounded and rooted and is a sign that sustains activities that were already begun.
A Solar Eclipse occurs when the Moon travels between the Sun and the Earth and the Sun's light is blocked. It's not visible in our area because it happens after the Sun sets.
Eclipses usually signal some kind of change in our lives. Not necessarily the day of, but in the next month to several months. The changes occur in the area of your chart and life where the eclipse falls. And as I told you last year, eclipses run in 19 year cycles.
I decided to look back 19 years ago at what was happening and where this occurrence falls in my chart. The eclipse is just under 9 degrees of Taurus and occurs in my eighth house, the Scorpio house. In 1995 I was looking at a deeper, more spiritual way to make and use my resources and I wanted more freedom. I had only worked at New Renaissance for a year but just kept feeling that I needed to strike out on my own. I struggled and struggled with the decision. In the end it came down to trust, just stepping out there and opening to new ways of doing things. I made a decision to plan and make a move to the Oregon coast within two years, but in 5 months I was unpacking the u-haul in Yachats. I lived at the beach, telecommuting and going back and forth several times a month for four years.
Nineteen years before that, in 1976, I was in school working on a sociology degree and raising my daughters. We struggled for resources and I was trying to figure out who I was and where my life was heading. Then the first time this eclipse hit into my chart I was 12. Being the oldest in a large family the resources were slim, so I began babysitting and making most of my own clothes and paying for extra curricular activities.
So I'm back to the same place as 57, 38, and 19 years ago. Resources, resources, resources, and trust. What about this time?
This time not only does the eclipse almost exactly square my Pluto, it also widely aspects the transiting Pluto. So from the eighth house, ruled by Pluto, both the transiting and natal Pluto are being touched. Pluto rules death, transitions, transmuting, change, trust or lack of it, research, passion, suspicion, intensity, jealousy, secrecy, and how we draw in resources.
What will this Solar Eclipse bring for me, or for you? I'm open to being able to draw in the resources I need and to make alchemy happen with the resources presently in my life. And I'm thankful for the possibilities.
I ask for transitions and alchemy as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown. Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
Beliefs, Fears, and Resources -- March 27, 2014
"Having not enough money and struggling to get more has always been my relationship with money. Then, a few years back I just came to the conclusion that if I stopped struggling, there still might not be enough, and I'd still want more, but I'd be happier." Lewis Mehl-Madrona, Money Stories
As this month's part of my year long abundance pilgrimage, I'm looking at beliefs and fears and resources. I like what Lewis had to say about stopping struggles, and sometimes I think I've stopped but then struggles and worries reappear. How does one stop worrying and struggling? I'm almost embarrassed that after all these years I still struggle and worry. And then I realize that it is a belief of mine that I need to worry and that if I don't struggle, I'm not working hard enough.
I decided to have a look at my astrology chart to see what resources are there or how I've been allowing the planets to affect me and to see if I can use them in new ways. And I often find that if I know what is coming up I can look at using the energy of difficult planetary aspects in different ways. This month there are several hitting into my chart. How can I use my natal planets and the difficult aspects to change my beliefs?
So, looking at my chart, I've chosen Saturn and Jupiter to work with. I've always seen Saturn as difficult and Jupiter as easy, almost opposite energies. Right now the two planets out in the sky are impacting my chart and it just so happens that transiting Saturn is impacting my Jupiter and transiting Jupiter, is impacting my Saturn. No wonder I'm feeling a tug of war with these very different energies checking in. Saturn feels best going slow or even stopping, and keep things as they are. While Jupiter wants to push the boundaries out and try on a new philosophy. Saturn can be more stern and Jupiter is more jovial. So, what's with that?
Maybe Saturn is saying don't just jump into something new without checking it out? Maybe Jupiter is saying I've stayed too long in old beliefs? Both could be right.
Back at the beginning of my astrology career an aspect to my Saturn felt like total frustration, no movement, things, including money stopping. I'd feel powerless and hopeless. When I told a counselor and she suggested giving Saturn a new job.
Wow, what a concept! But I tried her suggestion and sent Saturn off to watch the gates at the far, far end of my mental "property." Before this experiment I was only aware of the ringed planet's difficult side, but soon I began to see her other side, as well. (To me all parts of astrology have both easy and difficult sides.) Besides being stern and stopping things, I discovered that manifesting something new or different out of the old was another side of Saturn. Alchemy! I used to dislike this planet but now I can visualize her as slowing things down so I can really look at what's going on and begin the process of turning the struggles into jewels.
My Jupiter has always encouraged me to jump and maybe not think things through totally. No wonder Saturn gets scared and sends out worry energy! Jupiter can be like a bunch of wild horses, not wanting to be held back. But Jupiter also helps me be willing to try new things and be excited about new ideas.
Maybe the two wildly different planetary energies are supposed to learn to work together instead of trying to force one over the other. So, if I'm wanting to change these old beliefs of worry and struggle maybe these two planets working together are perfect. Looking in Rex Bill's Rulership Book I see that beliefs come from the ninth house, Jupiter's house. And Saturn, as I said, is about manifesting and looking at things that have always been there in new ways. So how CAN I bring these two together?
Symbolically, Saturn is the old person dying and the new baby being born each year. How can I get the old one to help birth the baby, the new vision? Well, again, maybe it's about giving Saturn a new job. Transiting Saturn is in master-researcher sign, Scorpio. Can this old one use some of her wisdom to research how best to step out with Jupiter's new ideas? This new way of thinking of these two planets excites me!
As I began writing this email about struggle and worry and resources, my favorite asteroids, Pallas Athena came to mind. She is the Warrior Goddess, and as Demetra George says in Asteroid Goddesses, "(Pallas is the) virgin goddess of wisdom, second only to Jupiter, king of the heavens..." In my mind's eye she is a tall figure holding a staff/weapon and she stands behind me, deflecting harm. She also aspects both Saturn and Jupiter in my charts. I'm not sure how, but I know she needs to be part of the change.
So, as I start letting go of or transforming these old beliefs, I see Pallas Athena just over my shoulder, like a body guard, just daring these two to fight instead of work together. She is there to step up and allow me to take the next step, courageously. And my stress decreases. The rational part of me, which usually thinks of disasters just rolls her eyes and tries to make me think Pallas is not real. But my intuition and gut says I need to make the most of her energy and stand strong because of her, and for me. Who is your protector and what does she/he look like?
Note: * Special New Moon Drumming this coming Sunday evening in Tigard at 6 pm. See below for more info.
* Also, free Self-Publishing class at the Tigard Library on April 5 from 2-4 pm. Just show up!
I send you peace and mindfulness as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
Money Diet -- February 26, 2014
"(An) awareness from the (vision) quest came at the end. On Saturday as I was setting up my camp, another quester came out of the woods and asked me if this was the path. I said "No, it is my camp."
(I had asked for help finding my path as I was preparing for the weekend.) Later, while tearing down my camp, I realized that my camp was in the middle of a path out of the woods. And I was suddenly aware that I was always on my path! Connie Carmichael Hill, Money Stories
On January 3rd a friend sent me a link to an article about Michele Singletary, author of Power to Prosper. The article was about Michele's suggestion that if you have money issues to try going on a money diet. The idea was that for 21 days you only spend on essentials and don't use credit cards and I decided to try it.
I wanted to combine the money diet with some astrological research on Venus retrograde: Venus influences spending and values, and retrograde, encourages us to take a personal, internal look at how these (and other) topics play out in our lives and if changes need to be made. Venus only goes retrograde every couple of years and it was until the end of January. I decided I might as well begin right away and stay on the fast as long as Venus was retrograde. So my money diet went from January 3-31, or 28 days.
The "rules" of the money fast were that you/I could only spend on essentials, so most of my spending was on food and gas for my car. I didn't shop for clothes or books, or go out for restaurant meals, get drinks or food from coffee shops, go to movies or spend on anything else non-essential. And many times during the 28 days I pondered whether something was essential or not.
I did buy some drum making supplies I needed for a class, but that was essential for the class and a business expense not personal. I also went to a book talk and met a friend at the sushi place up the street before the talk and ended up getting two pieces of California roll and some tea, because it felt too uncomfortable to sit and watch her eat. But other than those two, I stayed on the diet the entire time.
In a typical month I have been known to spend chaotically on impulse items that attract my attention either in a store or online. In January I was tempted, but I decided this was an important exercise. So, above my rent and household bills I probably spent a quarter to a third of what I normally do in a month, and I learned a lot! Here are my top 8 insights:
1. I learned I could do the fast, and much easier than I had thought.
2. I saw that lots of my spending is mindless. It's like I'm in a spending coma. The lights go out and my credit card or cash slip out to be used on things I not only don't need, but don't even want.
3. I learned that there are things I want to include, like movies and meeting friends at a coffee shop or just being able to go myself and sit with my computer when I've had too much alone time.
4. I want to be more conscious of how I spend all of my resources: energy, money, time. And I want my resource spending to be on things that are of value to me and/or will enhance my life.
5. I've also learned that I want to support places of value to me by spending at local, high value-for-the-money restaurants and shops, rather than a burger from the drive-thru window because I'm in a hurry.
6. I need and want to feel and show more gratitude for what I have instead of focusing on what I don't have.
7. It takes less to sustain me than I had thought.
8. I changed a belief because of this 28 day exercise. The belief was that I couldn't have abundance when so many in the world have so much less. What a friend said was that she had had a similar belief and she realized that not having money did not impact those with less, but having abundance she might be able to impact the lives of others. Pretty powerful!
The money diet is Part One of my year long abundance pilgrimage. Part two is astrology--I've been looking at my chart and how it relates to my personal money story and how I can change that story by looking at my astrology differently. Part three is beginning to work with the book Feng Shui and Money by Eric Shaefert--an excellent nine-part course-in-a-book that looks at money from the standpoint of the environment, the finances and what's going on inside a person. I'm just beginning the second lesson and insights abound! I'll be sharing insights on my abundance blog at gmnite.weebly.com. I hope you'll read my posts and comment.
I send you peace and mindfulness as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown. Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight
Let the Pilgrimage Begin 01/29/2014
"Peace Pilgrim's story tells how she lived her last three decades without money or possessions.This is not a journey that most of us would tackle, but it's a fascinating choice and an interesting lesson in trust." about Peace Pilgrim from Money Stories
Hi Friends I said in last month's email that I thought 2014 a would be about taking a pilgrimage that is internal rather than external, and indeed that's my focus!
I always take the time between New Years and my birthday in February to decide what I want to focus on for the next year. My process includes asking spirit for suggestions and answers, listening, drumming, pulling cards, and listening some more. From that process a focus word or phrase comes into my mind and I know in my gut this will be my year's focus. Sometimes the decision takes the entire 6 weeks and sometimes less. This year's focus came quickly: an internal pilgrimage of trust and transformed beliefs.
The beliefs I want to impact are around my relationship with money. Last year I published Money Stories, a book about money, spirituality, and abundance. Over the last decade or so I have come a long way toward changing my money beliefs, but I still carry some ideas that tell me money/abundance are not for me. Beliefs such as I don't deserve abundance or that if I have money I'm taking it away from someone else who deserves it more seem to be very deeply embedded.
At a mental level I know that I'm worth it, but this little devil sitting on one shoulder keeps telling me not to believe. The book Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks and Abraham talks about our desires and beliefs needing to vibrationally match where we are with where we want to be. So that's my transformation work this year.
I've already begun the process by using EFT and a daily gratitude script and have seen some amazing results. I just need to make those and exercises daily practices.
And about trust... Sunday, at the Dark Moon Drumming Circle, I led a meditation for the group. As I was leading the participants in asking their guides what needed to be released, questions kept coming to mind: "How do I do such and such?" and answers kept coming back "You don't need to do anything. Just keep show up and the way will be revealed." Well, there's trust!
By the way, everyone at drumming circle on Sunday agreed that it was one of the best circles yet. All of us just drummed without "trying to drum." One person said the circle was about giving and that he felt our drumming was an offering or a give away and we all agreed. It felt like we'd all stepped into a different reality.
If you have suggestions about my belief changing pilgrimage, please email me (firstname.lastname@example.org) or leave a comment on my blog or any of my FaceBook pages.
I send you peace as we continue working with the energies of 2014, and as we all walk into the great and wonderful unknown.
Connie Hill/Grandmother Knight