Not Your Favorite Colors

Me In My Usual Colors

A friend of mine, Martha Soria Sears, transformational coach/teacher and author of Colors for Life sent out an interesting email last week. In it she talked about colors we are angry with. Not just red because it rules anger, but the color or colors we have an aversion to.

She brought up yellow as an example and said that yellow is the color of intelligence, exchange of knowledge, and personal power. She then went on to hypothetize that if one is angry at or has an aversion to a color it could be that in our past we've had experiences of being judged, criticized, or rejected because of choice we have made relating to these qualities. She talks about people who were criticized because they want to be artists and the adults felt that artists rarely made a good living with their art.

I love reading Martha's emails but this one really grabbed me and I found myself thinking about my usual colors and the colors I NEVER wear and don't have in my house. Those of you who know me know that my usual colors are dark: navy, brown, dark green, dark gray, but light colors and pink, especially, is a color you will rarely find me in. And no pink in my house!

So pink is the color of love, heart energy, and caring.

I thought back to my experiences as a child and I remember being told to stop crying, big girls don't cry. I know these words were spoken to me when I was very young, probably first was around the time my first brother was born, when I was 1 or 2.  So what was going on: My mother who was a babe herself at 23 when her second child was born (and it was during the late 40's). She was totally stressed with 2 babies not even walking yet, living where she knew no one, my Dad in the service, and she was repeating what she had learned and what everyone told their babies and young children.

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As my parents had more children (I was a bit over 3 when the second brother was born) I became the little and bossy second mother to my two younger brothers. I also remember from my teens to my 40s not feeling very much, not making myself vulnerable, not being open to feelings.

What does this have to do with abundance? Well, I think it has a lot to do with it. I think beliefs of lack are some of the last areas that have been hidden away in me. My hidden beliefs from childhood are about struggle and not being worthy of abundance and enough money. What an eye opener.

The first thing I realized was that my mother was doing the best she could and knew to do. And I wonder if I've held onto to those lack notions all these years because since she needed to move her attention to the new siblings, these beliefs were all I thought I had of her. In my brain I know that's not true, but down in that child part of me they were true. What an eye-opener!  Thanks Martha!

So the first thing I plan to do today is to go out and find a pink t-shirt! Wish me luck.

And check out Martha on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/martha.soriasears or her website, nstransformation.com